Where sin increased

Hello friends!

I know it’s been quite a long time since I’ve blogged, TOO long really, and I’m sorry about that. I really do want to share my life (the good things and the bad things!) with anyone who wants to know. But to be quite honest, I often find myself at a loss of what to even blog about! I don’t see how anything I write could be as/more interesting than anything anyone else has written. The enemy is really good at making me feel inadequate, but I don’t want that to hold me back any longer from sharing what God is doing in my life.

Anyway!

I am in quite a roller coaster of a season of life right now. By that, I mean my feelings are pretty much all over the place when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. For the past couple months, I have had some serious lows and serious highs within just a few days. Being a very emotional person, it’s hard not to succumb to my fleshly feelings that don’t align with the Lord’s truth. Doubt, insecurity, guilt; as I try to run from these painful emotions, I am only running farther from the Lord.

Why haven’t you been in the Word a lot lately?                                                        Why aren’t you making time to get coffee with nonbelievers?                               Why are you still struggling with the sin you’ve struggled with for years?            Is Jesus not enough for you?

 I feel so broken when I’m not in the Word, yet I can’t even make myself pick up the Bible God has so graciously provided me. I want to disciple new believers and share the Gospel with nonbelievers I meet through my churches college ministry, but I’m too lazy to send a 30 second text and set a time. I want to break away from the sin that’s had a hold of me for so long, but realizing I’m not a slave to sin seems too easy. Accepting that grace has no bounds is too easy. Letting Christ be my strength instead of doing everything myself is too easy. I don’t deserve this grace; I can’t accept it.

“But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…”

I am STILL, after being a believer for 10 years, fighting this battle of not being able to accept grace. But, my inability to grasp the fullness of the Gospel doesn’t change it! The Lord is pursuing me, wooing me, chasing after this heart that he fastened even as I run. And even when my sin causes me to doubt these Truths, God is still the same. Constant, Kind, and extending me the grace I could never deserve or find anywhere else.

It’s a new blog, it’s a new day…!

Well, here it is, my first blog! To be honest, this is slightly terrifying. Regardless of how much I love to write, trying to convey my feelings/thoughts/life experiences on paper (screen, really) is much more difficult than talking face to face. But! I am starting this blog for a reason and I’m excited to begin sharing about my life with this super cool resource.

As many of you (you as in my Facebook friends who will most likely be the first to read this) know, I have been on mission trips to Guatemala every summer for the past three years. The Lord has been so faithful to reveal Himself to me and grow me in so many ways through these short term trips. I am beyond grateful to all of the people who have been a part of those trips, whether it be family members, supporters, mentors, you all have made such a huge difference in my life. Towards the end of my trip last summer, 2014, I felt a very clear calling from the Lord that my future would be in missions. Not only that, but I knew He was asking me to walk very specifically through a program called Trek-X.

Trek-X is a four year program based out of Nashville, TN for college students to do missions and school at the same time. For the first two years, you live amongst refugees from various areas, other Trek-Xers, and are discipled by a mentoring couple. There are also opportunities to lead teams serving in Nashville and take short-term trips out of the country. The second two years are spent in a foreign country, serving, growing, and really being immersed in a culture to share the Gospel and love people.

God has been so faithful to reveal to me where He is asking me to walk in these upcoming years. I am so excited to grow and learn and prepare for my first year of Trek-X. I want to share with you all what I am learning, how the Lord is shaping and molding me for the future so ultimately I can glorify Him. I have a lot to do before the first year, such as fundraising, PRAYING, and finishing my last year of high school, but I truly want to share it with people who I love and love me.

So, with this first introductory blog, I want to say thank you for everyone who will be reading this and journeying with me. If you ever have any questions or comments, please feel free to express those to me! Another blog will be coming soon with information about what I learned this past summer in Guatemala (though I don’t know how I will fit it all into one post). I am hopeful and ready for what’s to come!